Rob Dyrdek’s House

We need to go to his house and occupy it. There is enough bad TV right now, yet Dyrdek somehow got another show, this one a blatant rip-off of the brilliant Tosh.O. If we occupy his home, maybe he won’t come out and make more horrible knock off shows. Ridiculousness? Seriously — that’s what you all came up with? That’s Freudian, right there, homie.

Ticketmaster

We can all appreciate that Ticketmaster provides a solid service and employs Americans. But their exorbitant fees have handcuffed us long enough! If we have to pay your outrageous “service fee”, then give us some service! Make us a sammich! Read us a story! Give us a ride to the show!

Wrigley Field

This might not apply to you, but why should baseball fans put up with another century of boneheaded baseball? Actually the problem is that too many party people go to Wrigley for a good time. We can occupy Wrigley and keep them out — and this ties in with the Ticketmaster occupation! Enough is enough — no more horrid baseball that costs $100+ million every year!

Octomom’s House

This is basically just a well check for those kiddos. Because that lady freaks me out and I just fear bad things are about to happen there sooner or later. We could do separate shifts there I suppose. I like to stay up late, so I don’t mind the graveyard shift. I’ll have a sign-up sheet available soon, mm-kay?

Hollywood

Look, no more shows where people compete with singing and/or dancing. No more remakes of brilliant films with horrible actors. Quit ruining Superman. Don’t make a Ghostbusters 3. Give us our Arrested Development — 18 more seasons worth. No more shows about dinosaurs. Quit parading little girls in tiaras and prom dresses with 6 pounds of make-up on their face. Get a clue, get an original idea, hire some good writers and make some quality product, now. Are you with me!